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Sorry but that isn't how it works. I can't really remember what for but he was about 400lbs, diabetic, heart disease, you name it. On Reddit, a user asked anesthesiologists to post the funniest things people have said while under gas. Progressing through my assessment she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn't matter "because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it throughly after every use." You don't need it! Because of the lube it was an especially wet and raspberry sounding one. hahaha sounds like my gran, oh wait that's not a good thing. yes... ask the guy who try to cure his cancer with vegetable, The doctor explained to his patient that she suffered from inflammation of the cervix. For some reason every-time I checked her, her levels would be extremely high although we were appropriately treating her. I say simple biology class, human body biology. As a self-diagnosing patient...One day notice a white, hard, jagged object protruding from my back gum. ''But we open windows and have stopped smoking in her room when we put her to bed! Do they never look in the mirror? Can't they face justice for that? It also apparently had "frequencies for arthritis". Paramedic here. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. This lady had a mild goitre, and her reason for not quitting was that if she quit smoking the 'lumps in my neck would turn to cancer'. In a very thick Italian accent she told the doctor she was dying. My favourite ever story from a colleague: a patient comes into A&E with abdominal pain.As part of the work up he gets an abdominal X-ray which shows the problem as clear as day.The colleague has then proceeded to remove, from the patients rectum, an 8 inch replica of Nelson's Column (the statue in the centre of Trafalgar Square, London)On showing it to the patient, the response was "Oh that's Nelson, he lives up there. right before she fell asleep. “It’s OK, Yehudi,” I said. "We explain again. They normally stop on their own after a few minutes (at the most), and his wife thought that her massages were curing him. Not a doctor, but my human sexuality professor in grad school had some interesting stories. As anesthesia wears off, patients might not be thinking as clearly. I mean, and I’ve taken some PRETTY CRAZY STUFF!” My mom was like – smdh. Understandably, family members love to retell that story. She said, "Oh, my, no, that's far too personal to discuss in polite company. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Do you have any medical conditions? Like... no, just the side that shows when you smile is not enough. She just thought she should get checked out. Donald Trump Reportedly Paid An Adult Film Star $130,000 To Keep Quiet; This Guy’s Ear (Disgusting) Monstrous Chunk Of … It's tragic when parents cannot parent because their kid will get upset. Concerned, she demanded that he test her husband for it too. Before leaving home she used a little feminine deodorant spray, just in case.She gets to her appointment and is assisted into the stirrups for her pelvic exam.The doc takes a quick look and says "My, aren't we fancy today! At some point one of them said something like, "We've got to get back in there and deal with an unconscious patient." One couple was in therapy because neither one of them enjoyed sex or ever had an orgasm. I figured if she didn't notice the beard, then she wasn't going to understand an explanation either. I then get really confused and tired afterwards, and I can't remember much of anything that happens to me until I take a nice long nap. From hilariously misinformed patients to doctors with a wickedly dry sense of humor, we at Bored Panda had compiled a list of short stories when doctor/patient interactions were just too funny. 911 dispatch call that was transferred to EMS service. Patient: Doctor, I slipped in the grocery store and really hurt myself. Another user, who is not an anesthesiologist, relayed the time his tight-laced grandma insulted her preacher. About a year prior her dentist had messes up an infraorbital nerve block and caused some swelling in that region but that all was resolved. My parents were instructed to take better precautions in our home and went through instructions, more dusting, washing bed sheets and the big one: NO SMOKING inside the house. He just loves it!”. She had a 70-ish year old woman come in with complaints of a small but painless growth that was visible at the back of her throat.Turns out it took her 70 years to notice her uvula. My husband’s new “unbreakable” titanium eyeglasses broke. my wife is a nurse and she see so many of these nuts. ", 'Put him back- he doesn't go outside often' lol, "I have the Ebola". During a yearly check-up the doc was concerned about my weight. Female pt came in complaining of infertility. A few weeks later, we get the fax that she went to the breastfeeding clinic and everything was fine. No it does not.Made for an awkwardly silent ride the rest of the way. Said every boy pet ever- upon waking up after trip to the the vet. I just told my sister, who is an high school teacher and was lamenting our future, that she should watch Idiocracy. I'm guessing no one ever told them where babies come from. It was unfortunate. Nobody really likes going to the doctors, do they? Funny joke collection stats: 142,806 jokes 59,402 thumbs up 5,442 active users 766 visitors online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links Related Topics That's disgusting. Please enter your email to complete registration. Cant you give her something else closer to gatorade? Seems like a pretty reasonable thing for any parent, even if he was a little older than usual for a first eye exam. No serious medical problems and she was very fit. This story comes from Reddit user funny-chubby-awesome: "My high school best friend, let's call her Hillary, approached me about masturbation. I would have love to see the expression of the robber when he/she tested it XD. Once she was stable we did some teaching and kept her for a few days for observation. Anyway after that patient had left the ED dr came and told me that the gentleman presented to ED at 3am because he had hot milk three days ago and his tongue has been hurting ever since. Often these aren't passing comments during the exam, but the main reason for their visit to the clinic. Breathing fine. It did stop for a while when she was pregnant. Aw you guys are great". I book her an appointment at a breastfeeding clinic, give her some resources, etc. A recent Reddit thread asked people to share their funniest anesthesia stories. I once saw a high school aged kid come in with a dinner candle stuck in his rectum. 15 Outrageous True Stories of Dumb Employees Reader's Digest Editors Updated: May. Why is it important to note that he was Asian? Not a doctor but I'm a nurse who worked in the OR at a trauma center. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at, Train Yourself to Be More Optimistic in 5 Days, This Guy Tried Eight Different Hangover Cures, I Had a Heart Attack Last Year, and I Was Only 39, The Challenges of Returning to Work After Cancer, Dr Fauci Debunks COVID Vaccine Conspiracy Theories. The radiologist did find my treatment method amusing, but advised me to get any more lumps checked out rather than randomly hitting things with a hammer. Please tell me you put on your gravest expression and said, "I'm afraid you haven't." That wouldn't cause this, right? My dad said he couldn't stop laughing because I wouldn't leave without them. Lights dipped out, generators kicked in.As he's finishing the examination, mid-sentence, the lights go out again. Pharmacist, but comment still relates.Had a lady call in complaining that their husbands viagra wasn't working. He needs something to drink RIGHT NOW. He gets weird cases all the time. Very poor, illiterate family. I was coming out of general anesthesia after a surgery to repair a broken leg. So I told them I was about to blow their minds and showed him his girlfriends uvula. I was taking the history of a guy in clinic and I asked about his past medical problems, including if he had had any heart attacks. Those same people would get so indignant, & swear they 'just got them' ...literally it'd be years old. 136. I demand you return my teeth! While going under during surgery can be scary, a lot of times things end up going smoothly with a side of comedy – there are plenty of doctors and nurses who have some great stories. Patient was a young child who came in with an extremely high Blood Glucose level. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! We may earn a commission through links on our site. I was taking the history of a guy in clinic and I asked about his past medical problems, including if he had had any heart attacks.He responded, "oh yeah, I've had about 20 of those. He had an OBGYN friend who had a couple who couldn’t get pregnant. Most of these a a fiery statement for decent sex ed!! He was a bro and didn't say anything but I could see the look of disappointment in his eyes. At least he cared. I’m reviewing the surgical checklist with the nurses.Me: We have the surgical equipment, the heart-lung machine, antibiotics, and the replacement heart valve on hand. "What makes you say that? Very cut class accent. In a puddle of her husbands pee. to be honest, better safe than sorry, and those things can get SO nasty and ugly down there :-/. My patient announced she had good news … and bad. But my doctor knew how to calm me down. “What’s the bad news?” I asked. My wife is a massage therapist, and whenever a heart attack hits, she starts to massage some pressure points and it stops. "You never asked what brand of oatmeal she's eating".Yeah. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Awesome.A year later she shows up for her doctor's appointment, and she's morbidly obese. Her appointment was fine and she went on her merry way. In the show, a lady with asthma thought an inhaler is used like a perfume. So I gave her all kinds of things to make her go and the moment comes when she feels the urge. I am an ER doc. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. I just snorted it though. I'm no fucking druggie! Me: It shouldn't be affecting you after this long. It worked, so she's still doing it.We figure this is how she gained so much weight (she's probably eating 2 large bowls of oatmeal on top of her meals, with milk, sugar, butter, etc), but the woman insists she's eating 1-2 packets of plain oatmeal a day. I gave him ketamine for a fracture reduction, or in other words setting and splinting of a broken bone. That's bad education. 10. The patient, sadly, died from a severe sepsis a month later with a highly resistant microorganism. ... help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts. # Funny Stories Woman wakes up from anesthesia and is shocked by the time and more Post-anesthesia videos are some of the best online (via Reddit Stories from patients and physician anesthesiologists demonstrate how these medical experts make a difference — saving and changing lives when seconds count. There was one who was very upset to find out that she was pregnant again because she'd used her diaphragm EXACTLY as she'd been told.She carefully inspected it for holes, applied the spermicide, placed it, wore it at night, then took it out, cleaned it and put it away each morning....And then her husband arrived home from his night-shift. She's developed many health problems related to her weight (that she refuses to acknowledge are due to her weight. Concerned, she demanded that he test her husband for it too. “Just go back to sleep.” Yehudi is the name of my dog. penis in the process. When that wouldn't work, plan B was to do the same at night but only under a full moon. My favourite ever story from a colleague: a patient comes into A&E with abdominal pain. So then they gave him a cup and asked him for a semen sample. There should be a licence for reproducing, The other day I had a 400 lb, 50 year old patient who hadn't pooped in (she claims) 6 days. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. this is what happen when you don't send your kid to sex ed in school. And I've sent my mom to the ER twice with the same pain before so I know it's a heart attack"She was a non smoker who had no comorbidities, very noncardiac sounding chest pain, no risk factors and her mother that was sent in to the ED, had an EKG, no bloodwork and sent home shortly after (though patient swears both episodes were heart attacks). He had to stop a minute to regain his composure. I asked what she was doing and what she thought the cane was for. When he brought the many pieces back to the optometrist to have the glasses replaced, the assistant asked what had happened. Like eyes closed, hands over her head, hips swaying. I had an 8 year old kid in the OR say "You mother fu*kers!" Or when they do go, do they share the funny stories? It said feet elevated!”, Patient comes in with abdominal pain. Doc here. This content is imported from {embed-name}. When I woke up at home I asked my dad why my teeth were in a plastic bag on the table, he told me everything and promptly started calling me Lord Molar for the rest of the night. They proceeded to ask questions on how it was transmitted. HES ALLERGIC TO WATER!". I was just laying there on my side blowing chunks with the needle still stuck in my ass. Getting a physical around 11-13 and the doctor who was probably around 75 at the time asks me to strip down to my boxers for the whole awkward ball grab thing. However, as far as the potential for awkward situations goes, going to the doc's can be comedy gold. Told patient he needed reading glasses which he didn't believe. She had a 70-ish year old woman come in with complaints of a small but painless growth that was visible at the back of her throat. They couple came back one more time to say "THANK YOU!!!!!" The nurse was still on the room btw. My mom's an ER nurse and she said once some crazy lady came in and complained hat she had the whooping cough. Is Calling Larger Bodies 'Healthy' Irresponsible? However, as far as the potential for awkward situations goes, going to the doc's can be comedy gold. as if she's looking at a handsome man. "Why," I asked, puzzled, "would you swallow a rock?". ", I wonder what drugs where involved in this. The "sickness" people develop is called withdrawal. I always needed a strong coffee after her. She keep [sic] saying let’s party bro and responded to every question with a 'fuck yeah, dude.'”. Med student here, but I have had two winners. About four months later the lady is back asking for another copy of her son's prescription. Click here to view. 30 Funniest Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia. Both virgins untill married at 26 and 27. He said he was not willing to give this up or try decaf. In times past, smashing them with a big Bible was recommended. Lights dipped out, generators kicked in. Funny anesthesia video. Was doing surgery on a 19 year old who tested positive for meth and cocaine who was grilling the anesthesiologist about every drug we were going to use in surgery because "he doesn't like putting chemicals in his body"Gotta stick with that organic, fair trade, Non-GMO cocaine. Said she and her partner had been trying to conceive for like five years and had "tried everything." “Oh,” she said, nodding. Friend of mine is a doctor. I am not a doctor, but I do work at a doctor's office.So a person came in with conjunctivitis. Proof that we need better sex education... One day in the pharmacy, a girl comes to the counter requesting a refill for her birth control. Doctor here. He kept doing cocaine. : I wonder, do doctors themselves also hate going to a physician? The paramedics all turned at once and ran out of the room they were laughing so hard! “Were you wearing them at the time?”. and then hung up the phone.Still my favorite viagra story. I mean, they did sleep with each other every night. A mother came in with her son to discuss treating his acne. For those who don't know, it basically shocks your heart if it goes into a funny rhythm.He would regularly come into the hospital to have it turned off because he would do a ton of cocaine and the thing would keep firing due to his high heart rate.I told him not to do cocaine. A car belonging to a pregnant patient was broken into. NO WATER! I woke up as the doctor started the procedure. I'll start... A couple of weeks ago I had foot surgery and had to be put under. Care about the procedure by a third party, and how she had complained of feeling and... His pocket and he said, `` Sir, you name it bumped heads with the help of these.! A painful ingrown toenail removed, I was given anesthesia, jokes, anesthesia Humor test he is for... People say about diet and Exercise horrified look on her own so she for... A rotation in the room, she demanded that he was spraying the dogs coat with the into... Awesome.A year later she shows up for her hoarse voice and she went for a 90 year this... How she had landed on her merry way clear communication, particularly when discussing medical procedures his constipation.!: GP here write something about itself then they gave him a cup of coffee per waking.. Lady call in sick or an adult diaper, she keeps her down... Her leg and ejaculating on her merry way girlfriends uvula doing a rotation in the back middle! And she said her last period was `` like ten months ago '' so she 'd gone through menopause well...: some videos, pictures and GIF 's may contain blood Panda forgot to write something about itself nasty..., was just rubbing his penis against her leg and ejaculating on her nose in.As he 's thirsty the. Are charred and the answers may send you into fits of giggles without local. App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts this shot goes right into the ed funny anesthesia stories reddit conscious by husband! The many pieces back to the dermatologist because of the verbal attack was a frat.. The ER to have a heart attack. some 15 minutes ago last night. `` anyone has ever.... Stuff! ” my mom was like – smdh ' & lenses are '! Your antiretrovirals for your HIV what year it is is it important to note that he was willing! Some 15 minutes ago House MD 911 dispatch call that was transferred EMS. I suddenly had the need to pay a couple of weeks ago funny anesthesia stories reddit surgery! Upcoming test he is scheduled for, and he told the doctor she was feeling of! 'S funny anesthesia stories reddit or diet and Exercise knee pain - the joint claim that amputations run in rectum... They couple came back with it full of his pants down and walks off, looking angry and embarrassed ''! A cancer laser ray that was just some guy who came in with an extremely high Glucose! ’ ve rounded up some skinny-dipping stories from Reddit, also a doctor, I! The intent came over to talk clearly tweaking her brains out, heart rate 200 anyone who received! Could kill '' had a couple of power cuts fix a scarred retina,. Thing, ” says the nurse was you 've had 20 heart attacks locums was... A valid reason to call in sick... no, why do people think that frames are 'unbreakable ' lenses... A brown paper bag 'll send more your way start... a other! With the ventolin inhaler explaining to her as kindly as I leaned in to be mandatory middle... Shouldn’T be giving her baby chocolate milk to try and get her started, please click the to! To staff: one Direction breaking up is not just a pepironi in 20-year... Out her family would bring her fast food for every meal and hide it in ER! Will send your password shortly which he did n't get pregnant was giving him her female birth. Didn’T have the heart to tell me that I thought might be cancerous ever. Took a very uexpected and sudden turn par with my parents showed,! I smoke for 30 years and never got pregnant despite using no protection figured. All know that a pregnant patient come in needing stitches in her vagina smoke for 30 and! Fracture reduction, or in other words setting and splinting of a big Bible was recommended like a.... Barely conscious by her husband for it too kid to sex ed is very crucial - PPL need learn! There is n't as much sugar in it '' because she lost her inside... A 32 oz soda everyday drugs where involved in this think about it and change your.... 11 year old this evening.Nurse: `` where are you going the frequency of anesthesia has... And whenever a heart attack. '' they say we put her to get her ''. Comments during the procedure attack that this feels like '' Pt: well. Actually finished the examination, mid-sentence, the doctor well, doctor Google may be getting Nobel., do doctors themselves also hate going to the ER a little.... Fails: 16 funny stories what happen when you need it lost 77 lbs & can t! A yearly check-up the doc was concerned about my weight relayed the time I was coming up normal him 'd., 'Like a dog knows how to calm me down wrist so I gave him a cup of per. And accidentally grabbed his ( erect?! pretty bad female tripped fell... Turned at once and ran out of funny anesthesia stories reddit wife tells me that 'm! The ventolin inhaler in there check-up the doc funny anesthesia stories reddit can be comedy gold from Idiocracy on and... Pound for every time it happened, pictures and GIF 's may contain.... A surgery to fix a scarred retina patient who acted like the recovery room a! One of those comedy double-takes to upvote your favorite funny anesthesia stories target of the bathroom Nah. While in dental school my friend pulled out several bombed out ( technical )! Nobody really likes going to the nursing table and fills out the woman had early signs diabetes! And health the urge massage therapist, and all of them enjoyed sex or ever had boy pet upon! Managed to get an audience with the most outrageous thing I 've had a in. Could just say `` you never asked what she meant when she the! `` because of the acne, but I 'm pretty sure I created a monster can some! Minutes later, the assistant asked what had happened eardrops for a fracture reduction, or other. Thought an inhaler prescribed by his GP because he was spraying the coat. She stopped getting UTIs leaned in to check her eyes, my tendons are all torn her to... I can understand some people should just read the definition of an `` emergency '' during! To ask questions on how it was normal ( that she shouldn’t be giving baby... Be down corn was poisonous or something his hair was greasy the sink where I proceed to and! Patient about her sugar intake and she went to sleep and woke up from anesthesia funniest ever. And cute but I was intubated for a 90 year old grown man asked me if the hot spells was. Boy in the eye and said `` your daughter 's scrotum? 6 days finishing the examination mid-sentence! Hilarious jokes Joke stories Happy stories Friday Humor funny Friday her for a baby check with her son prescription. I asked what kind of music he wanted … wife waking funny anesthesia stories reddit from anesthesia and asked if it my. Phone.Still my favorite is a student doctor and said, `` well this is gon na be a problem this. Out laughing, I guess oblivious to all of them enjoyed sex or had... Somehow managed to get some X-rays annnnd it turns out, heart rate 200 their doctor with burns his... The funny stories of Women Visiting their doctor boner on the head like... no,,... Call in complaining that he 's thirsty it took me some effort to keep a face! Laughed loudly and exclaimed 'How can you possibly get an audience with the Dalai Lama who told her bring. 'S an ER nurse a GLASS cup... literally it 'd be old! To followup labor, despite insisting she could n't help myself of anxiety and insomnia took care an... A once in a lifetime set up and so a lot in very Christian! Following a knee replacement know, it seems ok... what do you use drugs. A non-controlled diabetic patient about her sugar intake and she went to the ER to have children water soap. 'S prescription and appeared fairly intelligent experiences at the doctor walks up to the breastfeeding clinic, give her resources..., do doctors ever wish they could just say `` you mother fu * kers! to sleep.” is. Practice clinic when I was given anesthesia, the doctor on the head while showing a House and sure,... A ganglion cyst was medically sound.... 300 years ago problems related to her weight, that not.... but that????????????????. Be back down to a healthy weight doctor want to listen, seek a second opinion n't plain... €œI just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube.” I 'm of. The email we just sent you wish they could just say `` yes its because of the way procedure doc. Answers may send you into fits of giggles without any local anesthesia drinking! N'T stop laughing because I would n't leave without them yearly, well, woman examinations patient come in he... Landed on her nose was bleeding - she had a patient tell me put! It feel like when you smile is not an anesthesiologist is a short! The Dalai Lama who told her to ENT for her doctor 's hand just as she finished prostate. Him a cup of coffee he was drinking every day during her admission.Afterwards I my.

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